Picture
Photo courtesy of Stupid.com
I'm not one to prank people so I wouldn't really find this No Tear Toilet Paper to be a very funny prank to pull on one of my unsuspecting friends, but it exists and therefore I'm compelled to share it with  my readers.

Playing the Devil's Advocate here, this would be a great product to ensure an annoying house guest never returned for a repeat visit.  That right there is well worth the $5.99 for this roll of "...tightly knit, stiff fabric that looks just like real toilet paper."

Ever visit someone's house and they have the thinnest toilet paper ever? No luxury quilting, no fancy swirly designs on sheets that mimic the feel of wiping your ass with material made of ethereal clouds?

To me, it's perfectly acceptable to find the cheapest toilet paper imaginable when you're unlucky enough to pay a visit to a state highway rest stop, but completely unacceptable when you're shopping in an upscale department store or enjoying a meal in a fine-dining restaurant.  Fluffy toilet paper that doesn't scrape your ass is a given in any of these situations.



 
 
Picture
Susan Brennan (pictured below) is the 2012 grand prize winner of the Cheap Chic Wedding Dress made entirely from Charmin Toilet Paper.


In order to compete, every submission had to meet the following criteria:

  1. You had to use Charmin brand toilet paper. (sorry, Cottonelle)
  2. Tape, glue and/or a needle & thread were allowed. (sorry, Swingline stapler)
  3. An actual person had to be able to wear it. (No dogs allowed, apparently)
  4. That person had to be able to take the dress on and off. 
You can read all the official rules here.

As I was researching this captivating story, I came across some really good snarky comments about her victory on Fark.com.  

Here's a sampling of my favorites:
  • "I'm sure she's flush with excitement." courtesy of Abe Vigoda's Ghost. "Guess she wiped the competition."
  • "She sounds clingy." says Janzee.
  • "Great Scott." says Runcible Spork.
  • " Good for her. I don't suppose toilet tissue dress designers get many opportunities two ply their trade."  courtesy of I Can't Believe It's Not Boutros
  • " The bonus is that when your marriage fails you can flush the evidence without farking up your septic system." says user Vodka



I imagine all my fellow Pinterest users are freaking out right now and pinning this photo to their future wedding idea boards right now, huh?